Man Called a Financial Abuser for Not Sharing Gambling Winnings With His Wife
Is This Man A Financial Abuser?
Regardless of how much is won, gambling at a casino and winning can be a truly thrilling experience. Seeing a relatively small amount of money transform into a hefty pot of cash in a matter of minutes is exciting, especially as it requires very little time and effort. However, this thrill can be quickly shattered if a partner doesn’t share in the joy. Whereas some couples choose to share all of their winnings, others prefer to keep things separate. There’s no right or wrong way of doing things, but that’s not to say that arguments can’t start if you’re not on the right page.
In this blog, Go Gambling has taken a look at what happens when casino winnings are not shared between a married couple, and is the winner in the wrong for keeping the cash to themselves? With over 3,000 comments and 5,500 upvotes, people had a lot to say on the matter.
Background Story
After a casino win, a man took to the Am I The Asshole Subreddit to ask others, AITA for telling my wife she's not entitled to my gambling winnings and to find a side hustle if she wants more spending money for herself?
The man explained that he and his wife have been together for five years and they live a comfortable lifestyle. Earning $150,000 and $50,000 respectively, they are able to live within their means and enjoy perks of financial stability without children. Each month, they are both allocated $500 as ‘fun money’ and they are allowed to spend this however they want.
He heads to a nearby casino every Saturday to gamble with a strict budget of $100. Recently, his trip to the casino was a success, and he walked away with winnings of $1,000. He used this money to buy a PS5 and some games.
Upon learning about what he had bought, his wife was initially confused, realising that the cost of the purchases would have been more than his ‘fun money.’ He told her about his winnings, but she insisted he should have shared half the winnings.
He argues that it was his 'fun money' to use how he pleases; therefore, the winnings are also his. She called him selfish, saying the money would have helped her pay for an upcoming girls’ trip. This led to a marital disagreement, and the wife’s friends went as far as to call him a financial abuser for "stealing" what rightfully belongs to her.
What Everyone Else Had to Say
Redditors had much to say, with a clear divide between people siding with the man and his wife. Though some people believe that the winnings are solely his - as they came from his ‘fun money’ - others feel that gambling winnings, big or small, should be shared between husband and wife. Some Redditors fell somewhere in the middle, highlighting that sharing the money would have been nice, but it’s by no means expected.
As _hootyowlscissors explained, it’s okay to share money in a marriage: “Obviously you are not a financial abuser, but you guys sound like a couple of particularly petty teenagers. Frankly, the whole post came off as...money grubbing. You're married, if one of you needs a little more it's ok for the other to provide it. I can't imagine my father finding a $100 and claiming it as his own because HE found it.”
TCsleep added to this, asking the man to consider what would happen if the roles were reversed. They said: “So if she wins the lottery with her fun money, all the winnings will be forever hers and you will not expect any share of it.”
ChristianUniMom commented: “It came out of your entertainment budget and it’s insubstantial. If she was at a restaurant that had a promotion and won a free app would she be obligated to take it home and split it? If you won a life changing amount that would change bill splits or something then I’d have a different opinion.”
Of course, many Redditors disagreed with this train of thought, raising the question of whether the wife would want to share his losses also.
Sylentskye commented: “Ask her if she’s willing to take half your losses. If not, odds are that if you kept track every time, that “win” offsets amounts lost during other sessions.”
BreadfruitForeign437 commented: “Agreed if you share the win, you share the losses!”
Notadruggie31 commented: “You risked your own "fun money". It's your winnings and your money, it might have turned to 1000 but it all seeded from your original 100. If your wife wants half, ask her for 50 each Saturday.”
ShaiB123 commented: “She uses her fun money how she wants and you don't benefit. You use your fun money how you want. She wants to change the rules. If you lose $100, will she give you $50?”
As well as highlighting the point of only being fair to share winnings if the losses are also shared, the overriding consensus was that the $1,000 belonged to the man because it came out of his designated ‘fun money’, and his wife should be happy for him.
HeirOfRavenclaw commented: “You’re right - you risked your fun money and came out on top, and that’s not “shared income”. Enjoy your gaming console, guilt-free.”
Coastisabrownishcolor commented: “I can't imagine my husband finding $100, buying something he's wanted for a long time, and then me getting angry because he didn't spend it on me instead. I'd be delighted that he got something cool and we didn't have to budget or save for it, especially as a one-time thing. We are married. I like him being happy.”
Despite the range of opinions discussed, Notadruggie31 won the debate, with the majority of Redditors agreeing that the man’s own ‘fun money’ was at risk and, therefore, the winnings were his and not part of their shared income.
The discussion was certainly lively and entertaining, with the consensus being that the man is not an A-hole for wanting to buy a console and a few games with his lucky winnings.
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